Sunday, January 23, 2011

Chore Chart Drop Out

I hate chores, for me and my kids and my husband. I really feel like cleaning just gets in the way of all the other fun and more important and interesting things in the life of a mother. I've often wished I had just a little OCD in me (To be honest, a kitchen full of open drawers and cupboards doesn't call out to me to shut them...gasp!) The problem? I also hate having a messy house and so does my super clean husband, and my kids like things orderly too or they don't play with anything, so what's a girl to do? Oh, and that minor thing about teaching your children to work and be productive? Yeah, need to fit that in too.


When we moved here I was totally going for the OCD girl...house perfect all the time, all the laundry done and put away on one day of the week, chore charts for each child that were finished before school, dishwasher started every night, a rotating list of deep cleaning...you know, crazy? It worked for a bit...


Then life got real. We got busy: friends, jobs, activities, homework, church callings, sports, holidays, visitors. I couldn't keep up with my craziness, so now I'm just back to being me (well, me plus a very clean and helpful husband). My downstairs (kitchen and living area) is almost always clean or 5 minutes from it as is my bathroom (lots of pressure when there is only one in your house) because it makes me happy to walk into a clean house that smells good, plus I like people to feel welcome when they walk in ...upstairs, you are rolling the dice. I pretty much stack my clothes in a corner for a week, then hang them all up. Laundry gets done in spurts, sometimes not often enough and I have to throw a load in for socks and underwear. Deep cleaning about once a week or every 10 days. On the brighter side, I am a purger, and don't like clutter, so you won't find any hoarding going on around here (just in case you are envisioning a hazmat zone). I'm pretty sure I'm a better mom and person without trying to pretend like I have OCD. (It's a DISorder for a reason, right?)  I can't stand the pressure of having a perfectly clean house...you never want your kids to do ANYTHING.


Oh, and chore charts are out too. My kids are too young to do them independently and I'm too lazy to enforce them all the time. It was becoming like a full time job. So, now our plan is before school every kid does 5 things (thanks Jenny) 1. Make bed 2. Clean room 3. Get dressed 4. Say prayers 5. Brush teeth. It's working like a charm...no one misses or negotiates or forgets. Loving it.


Then, our deal as a family is when I ask for help, you have to answer yes. So, the boys help with dishes, unload the dishwasher, clean the stairs, take out the garbage and help with extra stuff on the weekends or when we need it. Sometimes I need their help a lot, sometimes rarely. They are generally happy helpers and as long as they stay that way, I'm happy to wing it with them.


I realized, I can't become someone I'm not. I have friends who keep stuff spotless without being crazy and their kids learn from them to keep things spic and span. That is seriously admirable. For me, pretty clean is good enough, and when we have a party or visitors, I get a little crazy and things are spotless and I love it for the moment and the next morning I don't do the breakfast dishes until after lunch and let my kids cut paper and use glue right on the kitchen table in between those breakfast dishes and syrup spills, then we play a few games on the ground and read a few books and pile them all on the couch where they do not belong and it feels so good. I've decided that a little less than perfect around here is perfectly all right with me.

10 comments:

Lyric Payne said...

One more reason I love you!!! You are great just the way you are. And what kind of nut jobs do you have for friends that keep their house clean all the time?

Becky said...

Love this post :) In an apartment this small with growing boys just keeping the main floor in working order takes talent.

Janel said...

Amen sista!!! I love you Brooke, you are so realistic!

Matt and Jennae Porter said...

We can all have clean homes when our kids are grown. Let's enjoy these years!! I know someday I'll miss the mess.

The Martin Family said...

Keeping a clean house with kids is like shoveling during a snow storm. I am with ya on this post!

Kim said...

I love it! That is closer to what I want to be. It is similar to the way I do things, but mine is likely 10-15 min to clean not 5 min to clean. :) The two sayings I've heard that I love, my friends mom had this one on the wall really big and nice growing up, "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy" I have always loved that. The other is a little tongue and cheek and my mother in law got it for both her and I, "If cleanliness is next to godliness, welcome to the telestial kindgom." It always makes me laugh when I see it. Love the honesty you are putting out there. Miss you girl! We need to talk!

The Malone Family said...

Love your attitude about cleaning...I have to remind myself all the time that when it comes down to it...I don't really care if my house is perfect so why compare myself to those who do.

Emily said...

Thanks for making us all feel okay about not having a perfect house. Little kids and life means you gotta roll with the punches and sometimes that means that stack of laundry might be in corner of my room for a week;) lol...

Nicole said...

Great post! Though I have to say I remember always admiring how kept your home was with 2 little boys and all you did in your life. =)
I think you have found the happy medium and that is what it is all about! Thanks for the reminder.

Brooke said...

Totally agree with you!